We have all heard the words, “I need some space” but how we hear it and the context in which we hear it make a big difference. As I contemplated this, I came up with 3 ideas.
First, it can be said to someone in a relationship meaning that one person wants to take a break from the other person. When people hear “I need some space” it usually causes some fear and emotional pain as they expect the end of the relationship is imminent. I don’t know what the statistics are on breakups that occur after these words are spoken, but I would suspect that the breakup ratio is high. This may not be the intention of the person saying it, but once the other person hears the words, it seems like the ultimate death blow for the relationship. I am sure that there are a few relationships that survive the given space, but I would suspect that there is fear that the words will be spoken again and that will be the ultimate demise.
Second, “I need more space” can take on the literal meaning such as you have outgrown your living space or work space and you want to move into a physical space that is larger. Being able to spread out and use space more efficiently can help with organization, our mental health, and our emotional well-being. When people have families, they may feel closed in and that they need more space to make room for children, a spouse, pets, or mothers-in-law. Buying a bigger home, a minivan or SUV and having a back yard with enough room for a swing set suddenly become priorities.
The third meaning of “I need some space” came to me in July. I heard about the NEOWISE Comet on the news so looked it up online and found that it was just discovered in March and was named after the telescope through which it was found. It won’t be back for 7000 years. It could be seen by the naked eye and the best viewing times were either before sunrise so you would have to get up very early before it gets too light to see it or about 80 minutes after sunset so around 10:20 p.m. We opted for the latter.
In order to see it, you had to get away from the light pollution of the city so we drove out to our old favorite stargazing spot at Branched Oak Lake. My mother was still living with us and she seemed interested in it. Our son lives a mile away in an apartment, but he thought it sounded like a good activity to get out of town during COVID. We were driving as the sun was setting and the deer were coming out to cross the road. We hadn’t been out there for years so we decided to drive around the lake and see if we could find a good viewing spot. The parking lot at the top of the lake where we used to take Kennedy in his pajamas to view meteor showers and other space phenomena was closed so we had to keep looking. We used a compass to make sure that we were looking in the right direction and found parking lots that had obstructed views due to the lower level and trees. As we headed back around to our starting point, we decided to park in the lot next to our old one on the hill. This one was lower and near the lake but gave us an unobstructed view of the NNW.
It was calm, with the sun setting on the lake, and a few small boats quietly moving so we could see the ripples they left behind. There were a few lights from homes on the other side of the lake and the lights and the sunset were reflected on the top of the lake water. As it got darker, the stars began brightening as if someone turned them on. And then, there it was … the comet, the reason we drove out there. It was surprisingly easy to see. We used binoculars and my husband set up his scope (that he uses for hunting) on the hood of the car. We don’t have a very good telescope so this is our alternative. He had me check it out to see if I could see it. There is quite a height difference so he had to move it down and closer to the edge for me to see. It appeared as a white ball with a spray of light coming out like a triangle from behind. It was amazing how quickly it would move from the center of the viewer and had to be adjusted. The truth is that it was the curvature of the earth and how it moved in relationship to the comet that caused the comet to appear as if it was moving to the lower right of the scope.
We invited my mom to get out of the car and take a look at it. She is shorter than I am now, so we had to help her to find it through the lens. My husband was very patient as he helped her and adjusted it for her. She was surprised when she saw “a white ball” through the scope.
Our son had taken the handmade blanket that his other grandmother had made for him as a travel blanket when he was a toddler and was lying on it on the ground near the lake and looking into the night sky. We spent a lot of time watching it through the binoculars, scope and just looking in awe at the sky and seeing the interesting light emanating from it. We also observed how clear the sky was and how we could see so many constellations. We took this for granted growing up in small towns without lots of light pollution, but we appreciate it more now. I was in heaven. I could breathe. I could feel my connection to the universe. I was home.
I love space! I love looking at the sky, seeing the stars and planets, the comet and the meteor (falling star) that seemed to be greeting us. When I look into space, it puts everything back into perspective. All of the stuff that we focus on seems so small and not so important when you compare it to the miraculous universe. When we are inundated with the negativity on the news and are feeling claustrophobic due to staying “safe”, cooped up in our homes, all we need to do is to step outside and look up into the sky. We all need space.
As we packed up to go home, I told my husband, “I really needed space” and I meant it.